Everything But the Kitchen Sink

I think I am in denial about what is about to happen..... We talk about leaving a lot, people are always asking us about it. I say "we leave Sept 9th" all the time but I honestly don't think I actually believe it. I am trying to fully wrap my head around it but my mind won't let me. I think that's probably a good thing or I could possibly talk myself out of it. We will see as the days get closer on how I feel.

So we have three piles of “stuff “ in our home right now.

First pile: purses. We are so thankful for all the great purses people have given us for our fundraiser. You all know who you are (we are still looking for purses if you have some you want to donate). We hope you can all make it out on August 13th to our coffee house / purse sale fundraiser. It’s at the Freeway Cafe in Hamilton. (333 King St. East) from 7pm – 10pm. We have some great musicians and it’s for a great cause. Here is the Facebook Event Page. At least come and say goodbye to us even if you hate coffee or don’t need a new purse.

Second pile: charitable donations. These are things people have given us or things we have collected to give out to people in the Dominican. The pile includes lots of baby clothes and blankets, pencils, math flash cards, flip flops and clothes. We are excited to see how it will all be used and the stories we’ll be able to pass along to those who have donated stuff. We are hoping it all fits in the suitcases.

Third pile: baby clothes size 6-12 months. It is strange to pack clothes that seem so big on our little girl. It’s weird to think she will fit into those “huge” clothes before we get back to Canada. These last five months with her have seemed to go by in an instant and I can only imagine our time there will do the same. Man, I love her! We also have some dry fit clothes for those hot winter days when we sweat, sweat and sweat (side-note: we are coming back for Carrie and Dan’s wedding in early December so we will get a few days of good ol’ Canadian winter cold). I am so a last minute packer person so the fact that we already have 2 suitcases ready to go is very good for me. They are mostly packed due to Chris though..... hehe.

As we pack more and more of our house and it feels a little emptier and we prepare to set up our home in a new country we get excited about all the “unknowns” coming up. Home is where the heart is, they say, and my heart is with my little family. As long as they are with me I can be wherever God calls us.

Although, I’m also thankful for Skype so I can see and talk with the rest of the family I love too:).

STAY TUNED :)

Leaving on a jet plane

Attempt number two.... I had written this blog a couple days ago but while editing it deleted the whole thing and – very helpful - auto save clicked in right at that moment. It was an upsetting couple of hours but I have accepted it and have rewritten it!! Not that you know what was in my first attempt but I am going to try and remember what I wrote.

I think it started off like this....  "once upon a time in a far away land.....".  Just kidding :) I started off by apologizing for the lack of consistency with our blog writing. Life gets so busy, so fast. We plan on writing much more frequently while in the Dominican. Recently our life has been a lot of diaper changing and drooling; nothing too blog worthy.

BIG NEWS THOUGH!!  
WE HAVE BOOKED OUR FLIGHTS TO THE DOMINICAN!!!!
We leave September 9th 2011 around 9am and return February 7th 2012 around 9pm. My sister was with me when I sent the confirmation email to book the flights. There were a few little screams let out and a lot of "I am freaking out" being said. It felt like such a big moment but seemed too easy at the same time. It was an adrenalin rush from making a life decision and actually taking this step and risk to start the journey. When I told Chris a little later in the day I was actually disappointed with his reaction. I was thinking in my head "HELLO!?! WE ARE MOVING TO ANOTHER COUNTRY". All he said was "That's awesome". As we talked about it more he said he was so excited and looking forward to it and that it just felt right. I agreed with that but I am still freaking out a bit (which soo isn't in my character at all ;). Haha! We are really looking forward to this next chapter in our lives and we are so thankful for all the support we have been receiving from family, friends and even strangers. So, it's really happening.  We have made the first financial commitment. It seems a little surreal and crazy to think we will be leaving in less than two months.

If you would like to support what we are doing in the D.R there are a few ways you can do that, one of them is by attending our coffee house/purse sale fundraiser on AUG 13th 2011 in the evening. It will be at the Freeway Cafe in Hamilton and feature Jordan Packham, Robyn Asplen, CJ Keddy and Lydia Fry who are all amazing! It’s going to be a great night. Please keep this date free and if you have any purses you can donate please contact me :) Thanks so much!!!

Chris trying to bottle feed.

I also wanted to share a couple things on the mom side of life. Abriel is great. It's cliché but I do love her more every day. At 4 months she has such a personality and is a very funny girl. She has been teething and now has 2 teeth. I didn't think I would have to be dealing with this so soon but she is not oaky with status quo and wanted teeth sooner. She has been a little grumpy and has her moments of crying when it gets painful (but I don't blame her). The worst part has been when she bit me a couple times while feeding. OUCH! Fortunately, she hasn't done it in few days and I am thankful. I am worried about what will happen if she does it with a few more teeth..... Because of this new development we have been trying to get her to take pumped milk from a bottle. I am not trying to wean her off breastfeeding completely, just trying to get a day off (or more than 3 hours at a time). I love, love, love hanging out with her but I am feel like I need a day off. Being attached to someone for 4 months is challenging. We have been trying the bottle for two weeks and we have tried all different strategies: 4 different bottle types, 2 sippy cups and a straw/spoon. No luck yet though. We have decided to take a few weeks off from trying and see how it goes later. I have come to accept that she isn't ready yet and trying to enjoy the fact that she needs me and wants to be with me because I know there will be a time in her life that she might not feel that way.

Fathers Day (very late)

Fathers Day is tricky for a lot of people because their fathers are/were crapheads. For others it's a hard time because their father is no longer around either by choice or because of death. Some people never knew their birth father but were fortunate enough to have someone take them in a love them as a dad. Some people didn't know their birth father and ended up in a home where their "father" kicked the crap out of them all the time. Some people have a dad and a step dad. Some people have someone who raised them like a dad even though they didn't officially have the title. Whatever your case is I hope you can see someone as a positive male role model in your life.

My dad is and has always been a top-notch, cream of the crop, awesome father. It's not to brag but it's to give credit where credit is due. If I end up being remotely close to even on the same chart as my dad I'll have done well. He raised my siblings and I (as well as others) in a completely outward loving way and I appreciate him to pieces. He had a lot of patience with me and was always there to give me amazing advice. I really have a great example of how to be a super dad. Thanks dad!  




So this was my first time being on the receiving end of Fathers Day. My wife made me breakfast, more specifically french toast, in bed and then gave me an extremely thoughtful gift. She gave me a "Starter Daddy Kit". Here is what the kit contained:

 Key chain = all dads needs to carry a picture of their child around with them.

2.      Photo frame = it’s not good enough to have a picture of your child with you.... you need to have them proudly on your desk.

3.      Shock guards= keeping your daughter PROTECTED is always #1.

4.      Night light = there will be many times you will have to scare away the monsters and provide SECURITY for you precious girl.

5.      Books = you daughter is always learning and you need to be TEACHING her.

6.      Craft = kids get bored easily and you will sometimes need to OCCUPY her time.

7.      Bib = this is just to prepare you for many presents that have this saying on it.... mugs, shirts and pictures.

8.      Cloth = yeah.... there will be many messes, faces and puke for you to clean.

9.      Junk food = use this when you energy is low and being a Father gets hard.

10.  Wife = I couldn’t fit in the box, but you don’t want to do this job without me!!!

Seriously, that is a thoughtful gift! Being a dad is the most amazing thing I've ever experienced. How great is it to have someone you were a part of creating look to you as if you are the best person in the world (even if we aren't). I heard a preacher once say that our kids relationship with us is a lot like our relationship with God. He created us and although there is nothing we can offer him back that's of any use to Him, he loves us unconditionally. I didn't understand this fully until I became a father. Abriel can't really do anything for me yet but I love her to death! She brings me so much joy and happiness just by being her. Just by hanging out. Just by being. That's how God sees us. We can't give Him anything He doesn't already have but He loves us tremendously. What a great feeling. I want you to know that no matter who you are or what you've done God loves you like a father. Not a craphead father; a true, loving father. A father like fathers are supposed to be. And He listens to you and he cares about you.

If you'\re a new dad or you've been a dad for what seems like forever take these things above and try and live them out. I guarantee you will bring you and your kid(s) closer. 

Thanks, Abriel for making me a proud father! I love you so much.

Chris

My Grandma

 My amazing grandma Madeleine Jean passed away  June 14th 2011 around 1am. She fought a long battle with cancer. Three times she fought off breast cancer which ended with her getting them removed. Then the cancer ended up in other parts of her body and spread but her body still fought. She was a fighter and she was feisty. In the last year of her life she was in a lot of pain and in the last months even more pain. She had to be moved around to a couple different short term residences and hospitals. She was so proud to show off her family to her nurses, especially when I was carrying, as she would say "her baby". lol.  It was also a blessing for her to meet Abriel two times before she died. All the nurses only had positive things to say about my grandma. They found her a joy to help and work for. Of course she could be difficult and stubborn with her family (but who isn't sometimes). A couple fond memories of my grandma would be watching her bake homemade bread (the best in the world), going on trips in the Winnebago, scratching lotto tickets together, playing Bingo (I once called a false Bingo and she calmed the crowds for me), my grandma saying that she watches BET sometimes and then showed us how she "rapped" to it.  She was sometimes a little crazy, mostly a lot fun and always loving. She was MY GRANDMA!

I have a hard time thinking about death..... it freaks me out. I am going to skip the "where do you go when you die" thing. I am a Christian  and I believe life continues after we die but still death seems so final.... so unnatural. To think that all the things we cherished, worked hard at and our relationships just end.  Makes me sad. When I think of the concept at my age or even my parents age it makes me uncomfortable because there seems to be so much more to see, do and experience. When I think of my Grandma passing after all the life she lived and her last days being in so much pain.... breathing, but not really living.... death seems better.... peaceful.... necessary! It reminds me to alawys live life to it's fullest, don't take family for granted and to say goodbye to people like it might be the last time you get to.

I love you Grandma! Thanks for always being you :)

Mentor

I am just going to throw this out there.... Chris and I do not own a t.v. (gasp!). I know it's kind of weird but with all the crap on t.v, we just don't need it. We do watch our favourite shows on the internet; and we aren't anti t.v we do watch it when we are at other people's houses.  We aren't that weird. lol. Sometimes, I will turn to Much Music (gasp again!) for music while "I am up in the gym just working on my fitness" but it normally ends with me changing the channel because I am disgusted by what I see. We wonder why people are becoming increasingly messed up, why teens are disrespectful, sleeping around and doing a bunch of other stupid things.  Some of those music videos are some of the most distasteful things I have ever seen and these are the people our youth look up to..... really?? I just heard yesterday about a Hamilton Tigercat (a CFL football player for those of you that are not from around here) getting caught with weed and steroids.  This isn't the first time a pro sports player has been caught with drugs and it won't be the last.  These are the kinds of people kids want to grow up to be (pro athletes, movie stars, music artists, etc). Why?? We allow them to watch these things, buy those products, make these people more money then we are surprised when they act out.... is it not our own fault for failing to provide them with good and trustworthy mentors?  Yes, I know there are good artists and athletic stars but how often to we hear about them or see them doing good?? Even if we do, it's mixed, many times, with something sketchy or for a selfish promotion.

I have been a youth leader for 8 years (which is crazy!). I have met a lot of teenagers, heard a lot of stories, seen a lot of youth make mistakes but I have also seen some that make me proud and do inspiring things. I have also met a lot of youth leaders with different skills, talents and personalities.  I got to hang out with one of my favourite youth leaders, Monica Selders, today.  She was first one of my youth leaders, then a co youth leader and now a friend.  Even though I don't see her very often I always enjoy seeing her. She was (and still is) the type of youth leader I have always aspired to be. She is someone trustworthy people can and should look up to. A real kind, smart, godly and giving woman. She has given a lot of her time speaking into young woman's lives.  There are a lot of people who can atest to that. My hope for my daughter is that there will be a "Monica" in her life. I also want to be a "Monica" in other people lives. We need to stop complaining about the youth of now and start helping.  We need to be willing to give of our time, look out for them in our communities, stop encouraging them to put junk into their lives.  They need us and we need them.  We need to learn from each other. There is such potential for greatness!!!

Monica and I

True Love

I have had a few discussion with people over the years weather or not love just happens or if it's a choice. Many people want to find "true love", their "other half", the person who will complete them. All those things sound so romantic and kinda scary especially if you can't seem to find yours. My concept of love is not as romantic as those sayings but I think it's part of a successful relationship/marriage.

When I first met Chris he was 23 years old working at the Canadian Tire gas bar, living at home, wearing the same outfit and hat everyday, wore a backpack everywhere, and drove the most broken down car ever. I was 19 turning 20 in 6 months just graduated from college, working two jobs, living at home and driving my parents mini van (sweet!).  I am sure in those days we thought our lives were all figured out.... haha. I met Chris personally for the first time at a restaurant with a bunch of young adults. He was talking with one of my friends making plans to go biking and I was invited to come (okay.... they didn't invite me. I invited myself).  Chris seemed like a nice guy... a little on the short side but very nice. I had no thought in my mind about "liking" him.  I showed up the next day with my roller blades and there was Chris and no one else.  The other person had to work and couldn't come.... oh man, awkward. We biked and roller bladed and just talked, and talked and talked. I think I learned more about Chris in that short time than I have with anyone. We decided to do the same thing again the next day....and we hung out every single day after that for the whole summer. As I got to know Chris it wasn't about his car or job or clothes. It was about his ideas, his heart, his passion to help others, his unselfishness and amazing honesty. I came to love Chris as a person as a great human being and an amazing friend.  Once I realized those things I then noticed his beautiful blue eyes, cute butt and a very sexy neck! (I know weird). As most of you know I am not a shy person... so I laid it out there for Chris "I like you more than a friend, do you like me?".  His response was very awkward and worried me since he didn't seem to be "feeling it". He then told me that he didn't want to screw this up and wanted to stay friends for a couple months first. We both agreed we didn't want to date just for the sake of it but we wanted to date the person we were going to marry. We lasted 2 months and Chris asked me to be his girlfriend.  We hugged and held hands for the first time July 2nd 2005 - sidenote: I cried... haha -. We said we would wait to kiss for a couple months, I think we lasted 4 days.... We were engaged January 2nd 2006 and married June 3rd 2006.  It was a quick process because it naturally progressed that way. As some people would say Chris is a "keeper", when you find a man like Chris Edwards there is no hesitation, no reason to wait.  I don't regret my decision at all.  Which brings me to my concept of love.  If I expected Chris to "fulfill me", "complete me", or "make me whole"  we would be divorced already or would be in the future.  Chris Edwards was easy to fall in love with because he carries many, many, many qualities I was looking for in a husband  but to stay in love with someone is a choice. You choose to marry someone and to love them daily.  Are we a good fit together? Yes! That makes the choosing easier. This doesn't work in all cases, (if one partner is being abusive in any way that is not good and you should get out or get help) but when marriage gets tough we need to remind ourselves of the vows we chose to say and the reason we chose that person.  Don't put the expectation of someone else "completing" you on them, it's unrealistic.  Choose to serve and love that person, choose to try and work it out. Communication is the key and I am so thankful that Chris is better at it then me. Five years ago today I married a pretty amazing man and we have since made a beautiful daughter.  I pretty happy about that!

I love you Raymond Christopher Edwards!!! I plan on loving you forever.

Something Old...

My Grandparents, Ray and Rita Edwards, got married 70 years ago yesterday. In case you missed that, they got married 70 years ago. Some people don't make it to 70 years old never mind 70 years married. We had a big party for them with all their friends and family including 4 of their kids, 16 of their grandchildren, and 17 of their great-grandchildren (Abriel is number 17!). It's always great to see the whole family.

Being married for that long is an extremely rare phenomenon in today's society where marriage unfortunately has become either "unnecessary" or taken as something that doesn't really mean what we say it means. This isn't going to turn into a bashing of people who have been divorced but rather an encouragement to those who have stuck it out in the hard times (and the REALLY hard times) and have come out - together - stronger on the other side as well as a "you can do it" to those who are considering marriage. Keeleah and I have been married for five years (on June 3rd) and I can tell you that even five years takes work. There have been a few hard times and frustrating times and angry times and yelling times. But there have also been many easy times and laughing times and loving times and more laughing times and being completely sure of the reasons we got into this in the first place times. I love my wife more and more every year and she keeps making it easier to do but love, the love mentioned in our traditional wedding vows, is not a "if everything is going well" kind of love but more a "whatever it takes" kind of love. When you say "in good times and bad" it doesn't leave a lot of room for escape. I would challenge you, if you are in a relationship, stick with it. Try your hardest to work it out. Try and beat my grandparents in years married:)

I love my grandparents very much and the stories they tell of "the early days" are hilarious and heart warming and the stories from recent days are not much different. They have a friendship that can't be matched and a love that won't quit. They have each other and they like it that way. If we are alive in another 65 years I hope I'm with Keeleah, surrounded by friends and family who look up to the relationship we have as something to aspire to.

Happy 70th Anniversary Grandma & Grandpa! We love you very much!

Chris and Keeleah (and Abriel)

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ps - my brother, Scott, sang a song that means a lot to my grandparents. I don't think it's quite how they remember it...

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