Inspired

On Friday night I went out with of couple girls who live down here as well as Krissie Sulivan who has been coming down to the Dr for eight years.  She has a future plan to be a full time nurse here in the public hospital. She was here to visit with friends and to go to Franklin's wedding.  We went out and got some food and just walked and talked.  We walked past the bar strip. It had been a while since I had really seen what happens down there.  It's a weird feeling seeing people who seem to be having fun, listening to loud music, dancing and drinking and maybe to the average tourist that's what it would be and seem to be but I know more and I felt uncomfortable.  I saw hundreds of women who were dressed to the nines and extremely sexy just like you would see at home at one of our bars in Hess Village.  I know some women were just there with their friends having a night out but for 90% of those women it's wasn't a night off to relax.  They were there to work. We stopped and talked and discussed our thoughts on prostitution but what do we know.  We have no idea what it would be like to be them. My heart breaks for them. Sex is a powerful thing whatever your thoughts are on it.  I have a hard time believing that having sex with complete strangers a couple times a week or a month won't do something to you.  Won't change something in you. The question people ask is how do they continue to do it.... maybe it's like conquering a fear.  Once you overcome it, it's no big deal doing it again.  My heart breaks for what breaks inside these women every time they have to engage in such a vulnerable act with someone who is paying them.  This isn't about weather or not they have the right or if it should be legal, it's just about them and what they actually want to be doing with their lives.  I wonder what their dreams are?  We saw a couple boys who Krissie knows who live in a village we work in.  Their families have got them involved in being pimps.  At 13 years old and because they know english they are used as pimps.  They wait downtown and ask tourists if they want a girl.  They will translate for them and get them connected or they might go and buy people drugs.  Due to the nature of the job we have heard stories of people in return buying these young boys a girl for themselves.  These types of things blow my mind.  They could work until the early morning and have to travel an hour or more to get home and then be up for school at 8am.  These boys should have bigger dreams but they have become clouded with making good money fast at anothers expense.

When we had ice cream with some shoe shines boys around Christmas I asked them what they wanted to be when they grew up.  Two of them said engineers, one said a doctor, and one said a lawyer to help women get out of abusive situations.  WOW!!  These kids are 9 - 12 years old and have very little opportunity (two of them aren't even in school because they don't have birth certificates).  Chris and I took two of those kids out for breakfast yesterday morning.  It was a special moment for us.  These two boys at 11am had already been had work for hours.  The one spent the previous night in jail because he was shoe shining.... it's not illegal, they just don't want them bothering the tourists.  They told us the police are rough with them and they spend a lot of time running from them.  The one boy's father is a mechanic and his mother died in childbirth and the other boy's father works at a hotel.  They are not in desperate situations but their families do need the extra money to live.  Other boys may be in a different situation. They may be the only income earner in their family or just for themselves. These boys are special to me.  They are funny (really funny) and smart and speak pretty good english. I worry their dreams will be no more then just dreams.

As we talked as a group of girls we were frustrated with not knowing the answers or solutions on what to do.  The only thing that came to my head was to have some kind of drop in center where kids and women can take a break from their reality and maybe share or just have a coffee.  I don't know any more details than that but I want to hear those stories and be a person that people feel comfortable sharing with.  I do that as a profession at home but with resources to offer people. I wouldn't have those resources here.  Just love.... is it enough??

Freedom from nightly duties and paying men
Freedom from appearing beautiful but feeling ashamed
Dreaming of a different story and more opportunity
Dreaming of being wanted for more than instant pleasure

I am not just an object
You did not buy a robot
I am a woman, a mom, a sister, a daughter

Your money bought you sex but it bought me food
Your money bought you "happiness" but for me it bought survival
Your money is your freedom but my slave

Which night will be my last?
Which day will be my future?
Who will listen to my cries?
Who will help me from this reality?