My Grandma

 My amazing grandma Madeleine Jean passed away  June 14th 2011 around 1am. She fought a long battle with cancer. Three times she fought off breast cancer which ended with her getting them removed. Then the cancer ended up in other parts of her body and spread but her body still fought. She was a fighter and she was feisty. In the last year of her life she was in a lot of pain and in the last months even more pain. She had to be moved around to a couple different short term residences and hospitals. She was so proud to show off her family to her nurses, especially when I was carrying, as she would say "her baby". lol.  It was also a blessing for her to meet Abriel two times before she died. All the nurses only had positive things to say about my grandma. They found her a joy to help and work for. Of course she could be difficult and stubborn with her family (but who isn't sometimes). A couple fond memories of my grandma would be watching her bake homemade bread (the best in the world), going on trips in the Winnebago, scratching lotto tickets together, playing Bingo (I once called a false Bingo and she calmed the crowds for me), my grandma saying that she watches BET sometimes and then showed us how she "rapped" to it.  She was sometimes a little crazy, mostly a lot fun and always loving. She was MY GRANDMA!

I have a hard time thinking about death..... it freaks me out. I am going to skip the "where do you go when you die" thing. I am a Christian  and I believe life continues after we die but still death seems so final.... so unnatural. To think that all the things we cherished, worked hard at and our relationships just end.  Makes me sad. When I think of the concept at my age or even my parents age it makes me uncomfortable because there seems to be so much more to see, do and experience. When I think of my Grandma passing after all the life she lived and her last days being in so much pain.... breathing, but not really living.... death seems better.... peaceful.... necessary! It reminds me to alawys live life to it's fullest, don't take family for granted and to say goodbye to people like it might be the last time you get to.

I love you Grandma! Thanks for always being you :)

Mentor

I am just going to throw this out there.... Chris and I do not own a t.v. (gasp!). I know it's kind of weird but with all the crap on t.v, we just don't need it. We do watch our favourite shows on the internet; and we aren't anti t.v we do watch it when we are at other people's houses.  We aren't that weird. lol. Sometimes, I will turn to Much Music (gasp again!) for music while "I am up in the gym just working on my fitness" but it normally ends with me changing the channel because I am disgusted by what I see. We wonder why people are becoming increasingly messed up, why teens are disrespectful, sleeping around and doing a bunch of other stupid things.  Some of those music videos are some of the most distasteful things I have ever seen and these are the people our youth look up to..... really?? I just heard yesterday about a Hamilton Tigercat (a CFL football player for those of you that are not from around here) getting caught with weed and steroids.  This isn't the first time a pro sports player has been caught with drugs and it won't be the last.  These are the kinds of people kids want to grow up to be (pro athletes, movie stars, music artists, etc). Why?? We allow them to watch these things, buy those products, make these people more money then we are surprised when they act out.... is it not our own fault for failing to provide them with good and trustworthy mentors?  Yes, I know there are good artists and athletic stars but how often to we hear about them or see them doing good?? Even if we do, it's mixed, many times, with something sketchy or for a selfish promotion.

I have been a youth leader for 8 years (which is crazy!). I have met a lot of teenagers, heard a lot of stories, seen a lot of youth make mistakes but I have also seen some that make me proud and do inspiring things. I have also met a lot of youth leaders with different skills, talents and personalities.  I got to hang out with one of my favourite youth leaders, Monica Selders, today.  She was first one of my youth leaders, then a co youth leader and now a friend.  Even though I don't see her very often I always enjoy seeing her. She was (and still is) the type of youth leader I have always aspired to be. She is someone trustworthy people can and should look up to. A real kind, smart, godly and giving woman. She has given a lot of her time speaking into young woman's lives.  There are a lot of people who can atest to that. My hope for my daughter is that there will be a "Monica" in her life. I also want to be a "Monica" in other people lives. We need to stop complaining about the youth of now and start helping.  We need to be willing to give of our time, look out for them in our communities, stop encouraging them to put junk into their lives.  They need us and we need them.  We need to learn from each other. There is such potential for greatness!!!

Monica and I

True Love

I have had a few discussion with people over the years weather or not love just happens or if it's a choice. Many people want to find "true love", their "other half", the person who will complete them. All those things sound so romantic and kinda scary especially if you can't seem to find yours. My concept of love is not as romantic as those sayings but I think it's part of a successful relationship/marriage.

When I first met Chris he was 23 years old working at the Canadian Tire gas bar, living at home, wearing the same outfit and hat everyday, wore a backpack everywhere, and drove the most broken down car ever. I was 19 turning 20 in 6 months just graduated from college, working two jobs, living at home and driving my parents mini van (sweet!).  I am sure in those days we thought our lives were all figured out.... haha. I met Chris personally for the first time at a restaurant with a bunch of young adults. He was talking with one of my friends making plans to go biking and I was invited to come (okay.... they didn't invite me. I invited myself).  Chris seemed like a nice guy... a little on the short side but very nice. I had no thought in my mind about "liking" him.  I showed up the next day with my roller blades and there was Chris and no one else.  The other person had to work and couldn't come.... oh man, awkward. We biked and roller bladed and just talked, and talked and talked. I think I learned more about Chris in that short time than I have with anyone. We decided to do the same thing again the next day....and we hung out every single day after that for the whole summer. As I got to know Chris it wasn't about his car or job or clothes. It was about his ideas, his heart, his passion to help others, his unselfishness and amazing honesty. I came to love Chris as a person as a great human being and an amazing friend.  Once I realized those things I then noticed his beautiful blue eyes, cute butt and a very sexy neck! (I know weird). As most of you know I am not a shy person... so I laid it out there for Chris "I like you more than a friend, do you like me?".  His response was very awkward and worried me since he didn't seem to be "feeling it". He then told me that he didn't want to screw this up and wanted to stay friends for a couple months first. We both agreed we didn't want to date just for the sake of it but we wanted to date the person we were going to marry. We lasted 2 months and Chris asked me to be his girlfriend.  We hugged and held hands for the first time July 2nd 2005 - sidenote: I cried... haha -. We said we would wait to kiss for a couple months, I think we lasted 4 days.... We were engaged January 2nd 2006 and married June 3rd 2006.  It was a quick process because it naturally progressed that way. As some people would say Chris is a "keeper", when you find a man like Chris Edwards there is no hesitation, no reason to wait.  I don't regret my decision at all.  Which brings me to my concept of love.  If I expected Chris to "fulfill me", "complete me", or "make me whole"  we would be divorced already or would be in the future.  Chris Edwards was easy to fall in love with because he carries many, many, many qualities I was looking for in a husband  but to stay in love with someone is a choice. You choose to marry someone and to love them daily.  Are we a good fit together? Yes! That makes the choosing easier. This doesn't work in all cases, (if one partner is being abusive in any way that is not good and you should get out or get help) but when marriage gets tough we need to remind ourselves of the vows we chose to say and the reason we chose that person.  Don't put the expectation of someone else "completing" you on them, it's unrealistic.  Choose to serve and love that person, choose to try and work it out. Communication is the key and I am so thankful that Chris is better at it then me. Five years ago today I married a pretty amazing man and we have since made a beautiful daughter.  I pretty happy about that!

I love you Raymond Christopher Edwards!!! I plan on loving you forever.

Something Old...

My Grandparents, Ray and Rita Edwards, got married 70 years ago yesterday. In case you missed that, they got married 70 years ago. Some people don't make it to 70 years old never mind 70 years married. We had a big party for them with all their friends and family including 4 of their kids, 16 of their grandchildren, and 17 of their great-grandchildren (Abriel is number 17!). It's always great to see the whole family.

Being married for that long is an extremely rare phenomenon in today's society where marriage unfortunately has become either "unnecessary" or taken as something that doesn't really mean what we say it means. This isn't going to turn into a bashing of people who have been divorced but rather an encouragement to those who have stuck it out in the hard times (and the REALLY hard times) and have come out - together - stronger on the other side as well as a "you can do it" to those who are considering marriage. Keeleah and I have been married for five years (on June 3rd) and I can tell you that even five years takes work. There have been a few hard times and frustrating times and angry times and yelling times. But there have also been many easy times and laughing times and loving times and more laughing times and being completely sure of the reasons we got into this in the first place times. I love my wife more and more every year and she keeps making it easier to do but love, the love mentioned in our traditional wedding vows, is not a "if everything is going well" kind of love but more a "whatever it takes" kind of love. When you say "in good times and bad" it doesn't leave a lot of room for escape. I would challenge you, if you are in a relationship, stick with it. Try your hardest to work it out. Try and beat my grandparents in years married:)

I love my grandparents very much and the stories they tell of "the early days" are hilarious and heart warming and the stories from recent days are not much different. They have a friendship that can't be matched and a love that won't quit. They have each other and they like it that way. If we are alive in another 65 years I hope I'm with Keeleah, surrounded by friends and family who look up to the relationship we have as something to aspire to.

Happy 70th Anniversary Grandma & Grandpa! We love you very much!

Chris and Keeleah (and Abriel)

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ps - my brother, Scott, sang a song that means a lot to my grandparents. I don't think it's quite how they remember it...

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