My Grandma

 My amazing grandma Madeleine Jean passed away  June 14th 2011 around 1am. She fought a long battle with cancer. Three times she fought off breast cancer which ended with her getting them removed. Then the cancer ended up in other parts of her body and spread but her body still fought. She was a fighter and she was feisty. In the last year of her life she was in a lot of pain and in the last months even more pain. She had to be moved around to a couple different short term residences and hospitals. She was so proud to show off her family to her nurses, especially when I was carrying, as she would say "her baby". lol.  It was also a blessing for her to meet Abriel two times before she died. All the nurses only had positive things to say about my grandma. They found her a joy to help and work for. Of course she could be difficult and stubborn with her family (but who isn't sometimes). A couple fond memories of my grandma would be watching her bake homemade bread (the best in the world), going on trips in the Winnebago, scratching lotto tickets together, playing Bingo (I once called a false Bingo and she calmed the crowds for me), my grandma saying that she watches BET sometimes and then showed us how she "rapped" to it.  She was sometimes a little crazy, mostly a lot fun and always loving. She was MY GRANDMA!

I have a hard time thinking about death..... it freaks me out. I am going to skip the "where do you go when you die" thing. I am a Christian  and I believe life continues after we die but still death seems so final.... so unnatural. To think that all the things we cherished, worked hard at and our relationships just end.  Makes me sad. When I think of the concept at my age or even my parents age it makes me uncomfortable because there seems to be so much more to see, do and experience. When I think of my Grandma passing after all the life she lived and her last days being in so much pain.... breathing, but not really living.... death seems better.... peaceful.... necessary! It reminds me to alawys live life to it's fullest, don't take family for granted and to say goodbye to people like it might be the last time you get to.

I love you Grandma! Thanks for always being you :)